September Celebrity Edge

944 Magazine

Marc Mezvinsky and Chelsea Clinton

Parents, Pre-Nups, & Panties

If Chelsea Clinton’s wedding cost anywhere near the rumored $5 million, then it’s still a bargain compared to the $10 million her husband, Marc Mezvinsky, will allegedly have to pay if he cheats on her, according to a pre-nuptial agreement leaked to the press earlier this year.
“Chelsea’s … father has always been the person she most admired, and the fact that he cheated on her mom not once, but many times, made her very gun-shy about trusting the guys she dated,” a close family has been quoted.
But in this relationship, Chelsea’s not the only one with Daddy issues.
Marc’s father, Ed Mezvinsky, a former democratic congressman, served five years in federal prison for bilking his associates, friends and family members — some say even his own late mother-in-law — out of millions of dollars.
So perhaps the young couple should consider expanding the definition of “cheating” in their pre-nup: “If either party can be proven to have screwed anyone else, either literally or figuratively…” Or, “due to the sheer amount of information we have on both fathers, the agreement could be more specific, ruling out things like cigars and women named Monica…”
I certainly don’t mean to make light of prenuptial agreements. But, I can think of so many examples where a carefully chosen word or two could have been added to the pre-wedding vows for clarification.
I was talking to a man recently who says that when he helped pack his wife up after their divorce, he found more than a thousand pairs of shoes, most of them un-worn, stacked neatly in her closet. Subsequent review of their shared credit card revealed that he had paid for most of them.
Instead of a credit card with a set limit, maybe his pre-nup should have specified a smaller closet? In an effort to convince you that the girl I’m referring to is not me, (it’s not), I’ll share my most sordid post-relationship revelation.
After dating my ex-boyfriend for just over a year, we broke up for good.
It wasn’t until years later, when his next serious girlfriend moved in, that it was discovered that he kept files on all of his girlfriends – including, get this, a pair of panties belonging to each woman.
I can’t help but wonder which ones he kept of mine. It gives a new credence to your mother’s advice to always wear clean underwear, lest you get hit by a bus and are forced to show your dirty laundry to the world.
Which brings me back Chelsea and her pre-nup. While an ironclad pre-nuptial agreement may protect Chelsea’s financial well being, it can’t do a thing to protect her heart.
Instead, it’ll be those past experiences that she’ll need to draw on to face the inevitable bad that is bound to come with the good.
That’s an example we can all learn from as we all face tough times of our own.
So let’s all raise a glass and toast Chelsea Clinton and her new husband.
L’chaim!

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