May Celebrity Edge: Blindsided

944 Magazine

Written by: Corinna Allen

After taking home the Oscar for her movie, The Blind Side, Sandra Bullock learned that her husband of five years had been cheating on her. So much has been made of the fact that she, like so many other leading ladies, has fallen victim to the “Oscar Curse” of losing a relationship after winning the Academy Award for Best Actress.

But I believe what happened to Sandra, and the women before her, is still of valid concern to the rest of us, who wonder: “How much is too much to sacrifice for love?”

Sandra Bullock waited to get married. She met Jesse James in her 30s, but it wasn’t until 40 that she tied the knot, because, as she told Barbara Walters, she believed “if you got married, that was the end of who you were,” and until she met Jesse, she’d “never met anyone who was bigger than me.”

After getting married, she not only helped raise his baby daughter, but entered what would become a four-year adoption process to grow a family with the man she planned to spend the rest of her life with. Instead, she’s now filed for a divorce and filed to become the single parent of her adopted child, Louis Bardo Bullock – news which became public late last month.

When award season rolled around this year, Jesse played the part of dutiful husband on the red carpet.

But, apparently, not without complaint.

In one of her acceptance speeches, she thanked him for “dressing up in a monkey suit” to sit with people he didn’t know. Does that sound like something he might have said to her?

I think she might have been quoting him again later, when she told Walters, “he’s not out in bars. He words hard.” Who was she trying to convince?

It’s a perilous thing to sacrifice so much for a man, and I think she’d begun to realize her mistake.

She’s far from alone.

I once came close to quitting my job and moving out of state to be a suburban stepmother. They only thing that stopped me was his refusal to let me have kids of my own.

Even when kids aren’t a factor, women are still willing to sacrifice for men who don’t deserve it.

A beautiful, thirtysomthing friend of mine owns a chain of successful businesses. But the man she dated was unhappy with his job, so she offered to give him her tax refund, plus free room and board, to get him started in a business of his own. He promptly broke up with her.

Another beautful friend, in her early 40s, was driving hours roundtrip to see her man, and was on the verge of quitting her job and giving up her apartment to be closer to him. She was about to co-sign for the loan on his car when he broke up with her.

Oh, if only Jesse would have done Sandra the favor of breaking up with her early on, instead of hanging on to humiliate her the way he did! But he didn’t, and it leaves the rest of us to wonder, how much is too much to give?

And is there any way to see it coming before we do? Or do we have to be blindsided to see the truth?

Corinna Allen is the entertainment reporter on CBS Better Mornings Atlanta, airing daily from 5 to 7 a.m.

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